Imagine this, no TV, no Internet, no mobile phones. Now imagine how often you’d see images of naked women… or man? Perhaps in a magazine, perhaps on page 3 of a nationwide newspaper, perhaps in a stashed away copy of a racy magazine.
How times have changed.
TV is evolving, not only is there on-demand porn, there’s now ‘soft porn’ made mainstream – have you seen Love Island lately? Late night Big Brother? How about Game of Thrones? …and if you specifically want to find something to ‘get you in the mood’, there’s the internet, there’s mobile internet, there are downloadables… we all have on-demand access to scenes-of-a-graphic nature like never before.
…and you’re never far from the next. Whether you’re actively seeking them out or whether you’re passively watching late night TV.
Our exposure to graphic images is unprecedented and it’s leading to prevalent body dimorphism.
Have you been affected? Have you caught yourself comparing your size to an airbrushed, Photoshopped, one in a billion model who could make women orgasm with just one look? Have your expectations changed? Would you be able to tell the difference between a man with surgical enhancements and a porn model with natural body proportions? Or more to the point which would you find natural, normal?
Overexposure to porn is a new-age concept and a clinically evolving condition built from self-comparison and unrealistic body image. Do you find it hard to climax? Have you been suffering from erectile dysfunction? Experienced premature ejaculation? Are your sexual anxieties at an all-time high?
These are all signs, symptoms and indicators of over-exposure to unreasonably high sexual expectations.
Fun at first, relationship breaking ultimately.
So, how can you reverse long-term sexual anxieties caused by porn? How do you find a happy balance? How do you combat erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, relationship troubles and unrealistic expectations?
- Put Penis Size into Perspective
Comparison is the thief of all joy. There will always be someone bigger, better and more experienced than you. There will always be someone smaller, inferior and less experienced than you. But there will never be someone exactly like you.Porn is full of, at first, shockingly large penises, shot from extremely flattering camera angles. But did you know the average length of an erect penis sits at a proud 5.1 inches? If this statistic sounds small to you, you’re likely suffering the body dysmorphic effects of porn.
Put a stop to porn comparison. It’s not what you have but how you use it.
- Accept Porn Is Not Real Life
Films are not reality. Reality TV is not real reality. Turn the camera on and people behave differently, there are producers, camera people, casting directors and the person who gets an arm workout holding the extendable mic.Whether you’re watching porn or Love Island what you see is a groomed perfection, through camera filters and several hundred of edits… sometimes there’s even an accompanying soundtrack… and a hilariously Scottish narrator.
Porn and reality TV is not real life… but watch them too often and your brain will begin to think otherwise.
- Readjust Your Sexual Expectations… Be Realistic
Women always orgasm in porn films but new studies show realistic and scientific analysis of PornHub’s top 50, result in just an 18% orgasm rate. Meaning if you mimic porn, you’re likely to help your partner reach orgasm just 18% of the time. A majority of porn is scripted and directed to titillate male orgasm, not to represent a healthy and happy sex life.Porn often relies on male fantasy, threesomes, completely shaven pubic areas and girl on girl acts. Foreplay is a foreign concept with pornography’s sole aim being to stimulate and to do it quickly.
Instead of aiming to replicate pornography inside your own relationship, take time to learn and enjoy what fits for you as a couple.
- Abstain, Try It, Repeat It… and Enjoy It
Did you ever eat so many pieces of pizza you thought you’d never want to see another again? Drunk so much wine, the slight scent of a bottle made you relive the morning after? Take anything in excess and it quickly becomes less satisfying, less appealing and less enjoyable. If it’s always at your fingertips, why would you want it in the first place, it’s a classic lesson in supply and demand.The teachers of tantric sex know this. It’s an age-old concept that understands the pleasure of anticipation and the necessity of building want. Pornography teaches the opposite, it’s everything on your doorstep all at once. Abstaining from pornography and masturbation may help make your sex life healthy again. And rebuild desire while re-establishing sexual perspective.
- Re-appreciate the Little Things
A cheeky text to your partner, a sexual promise for the evening, a knowing touch in public. Do you see any of these during one of PornHub’s top 50? No. Do they help boost a healthy sex life? Yes.Pornography is all about the act, it focuses on intercourse, penetration and climax. It does not teach intimacy or interaction or develop the build-up, foreplay, anticipation and excitement present in mutually satisfying, real-life sexual acts. Sex is both mental and physical, learning to tease your partner could be just the answer to remedy your sexual anxieties.
Are you experiencing symptoms of overstimulation? Do you find you are unable to last long enough to satisfy your partner? Have you found yourself unable to sustain or achieve an erection? Feeling anxious about your penis size or more? International Andrology can help. Contact us today on 0203 131 4188.
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i Veale, D., Miles, S., Bramley, S., Muir, G. and Hodsoll, J. (2015), Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men. BJU Int, 115: 978–986. doi:10.1111/bju.13010 ii Consuming Ecstasy: Representations of Male and Female Orgasm in Mainstream Pornography. Séguin LJ, Rodrigue C, Lavigne J. J Sex Res. 2017 Jun 20:1-9. doi: 10.1080/00224499.2017.1332152.